(Photo courtesy of Flickr Infrogmation of New Orleans, CC2.0)
Listen to yourself. It’s easy to notice other people with repetitive patterns such as “uh” and “like”. Are you aware of your own verbal patterns? Are you habitually using words or phrases that reduce the impact of what you have to say? Yes, you can change weakening word habits, starting right now. Aim for your speech to be simple, clear, unapologetic and direct.
Repetition in speaking is powerful, if it’s used intentionally. Unconscious repetition has the opposite effect, weakening both the impact of the message and the strength of the speaker’s image. These patterns are more likely to show during extemporaneous speaking, rather than in a prepared address. The vast majority of our speaking is extemporaneous, even completely unrehearsed, and those are the times we need to be alert to our own speech habits. None of these patterns are wrong, in and of themselves. They become a problem when they occur so frequently as to become a dominant element. Here are some of the weakening words I’ve heard over the years:
Uh. I’m not overly concerned about this one, if it only happens occasionally. We all say it now and then, usually when we’re not sure of what to say next. But it should not be used to give us time to think after every couple of words or phrases. Then it begins to sound more like “duh” than simply “uh”.
Like. This word is so common among North American young people that it has become a caricature of mindless superficiality. Yet, I once heard a successful looking businessman, probably in his thirties, peppering his speaking with “like”. In my opinion, it had a negative effect on the maturity of his image. He looked like an adult, but he sounded like a teenager. Wouldn’t that have a negative affect on the level of trust his colleagues and clients place in him? Please, parents, when you notice your children starting to develop this ubiquitous habit, probably around age ten or younger, try to gently guide them away from it.
You know. Very common, this phrase is another form of “uh”, used as a silence filler while we search for the next word or thought. It makes the speaker sound uninformed, as if he or she doesn’t know.
Eh? O Canada!! Surely we Canadians can laugh at this one and let it go!
Right? Inserting this word at the end of sentences makes the speaker sound insecure. “I have this friend, right?” I don’t know. Do you?
OK? Similar to “Right?” in its implication of insecurity, but to me, “OK?” even begins to sound slightly aggressive, especially if used after every sentence in a series of sentences.
Sort of has a diluting effect. Either it is or it isn’t. Don’t apologize for it with “sort of”.
Just. I have to be careful about this one, myself, especially in emails. “I just wanted to thank you for…” Whoops! “Thank you for…” Strong. No apologies. Direct.
Or whatever. Less common than the words above. Used to actually mean “or whatever”, as in, “something similar,” this phrase is fine. Used constantly as a silence-filler, it detracts from the authority of what the speaker is saying and makes him or her sound unfocused and unsure.
And that. See “or whatever” above.
These are just a few examples of the endless variety of repetitive utterances that English speakers invent to make ourselves feel secure. Listen to yourself. Do you use repetitive patterns of speech? Honour yourself; you need no apologies. Have the courage to let silence reign, rather than dilute the power of your words with meaningless sound. Simple, clear, unapologetic, direct.
